Culture Shock!

Arranged marriages. I have now been with our people for almost 4 years. I have learned a lot from them. I thought I knew most of the big things that were important in their culture. Well, I am learning that I will NEVER really know their culture. There are certain parts of it that are kept secret from many people.


Now…..it has taken me almost these entire four years to build a very close relationship with a young girl named Lupita. When we arrived here she was 13 years old and Annie was 2. She loved to play with Annie and Annie grew up thinking of her as one of her best friends. When we returned from our time in the states, things were a little different b/c Annie was now almost 7 and she had just turned 17. However there was still this very strong bond between them and they once again started playing when they were together. You see, Lupita still loved to play with dolls and Barbies and was still very much a little girl at heart. I tell you all of this so you will understand that she is a very young minded 17 year old and also very close to our family.

Saturday night Lupita’s parents came by our home to invite us to come to their home on Sunday for a big ceremony to announce the engagement of Lupita to a boy/man (he is 23) named Edwardo. I was so confused because Lupita never seemed interested in boys and always said she wasn’t ready to get married as deems the culture. The culture says you need to get married between the ages of 13 and 18 or you are too old. We arrived at their home with a group from our church, just in time to see this ceremony taking place. They were asking her if she wanted to marry him and him if he wanted to marry her. They both looked very sad, but said, “ Yes.” Then they all shook hands with the family members who were in a large circle and all of a sudden Lupita spotted me, darted away from the circle and ran to me.

I was thinking, “ Oh, this is a nice welcome.” She fell into my arms sobbing and said, “ I don’t want to please don’t make me, please help me.” I looked at my friend and said, “ HELP!” We took her to her bedroom and she sobbed for about 15 minutes as she told us that her mom and dad had picked him for her. They said he was a good guy, well educated, had a lot of potential and she needed to marry him. He liked her and wanted to marry her and if she didn’t accept he would find someone else and her time would be passed up. She said, I don’t have ANY feelings for him at all. I am scared and don’t want to get married yet, I am not ready. I don’t know how to cook or wash clothes or do ANYTHING. My heart broke for her. She is locked into this unless God intervenes. I promised I would pray daily for a miracle. She is still at her home until they have the wedding in the church. They seem to think this will happen in 2-3 months. I am asking you to PLEASE pray for her. She has recently put her faith in God and trusts Him completely. She is asking Him for a miracle and we have to pray for one for her. Her family has no idea that anyone knows about her feelings. She was told she BETTER keep her mouth shut and act as if she is completely fine with it all. Of course she didn’t, but it is in God’s hands now.

Thank you for taking things like this to heart and praying about them when you think about them. I know you don’t know her, but, this is a real person with real feelings and a real problem. I will keep you all up to date on everything as it all unfolds. Love to you all! Missy