Many of you have asked how we are doing. I can really only speak for myself. I am doing okay. Some days are better than others. I have more, better days, than I do bad days. I have been thinking a lot about my past.When I got married to Greg, I was 23 and I thought we would have a perfect life with kids, a great big house, lots of money, jobs we loved, and we would die together at the age of 90 in our sleep. Remember... I was 23.
In the beginning we had jobs that we loved, we had a small house, not a lot of money, and our first pregnancy. Then I was in a car accident and lost that baby. That wasn't in my plan. So, Greg and I learned very early in our marriage how to rely on God and each other and how to maneuver through difficult situations. Then we got pregnant with Jerod and life was good! We had some job changes and although, I loved mine b/c I was a stay at home mom, Greg did not love his job. We started searching for other jobs. Alex made his entrance into the world and we started trying for baby #3. 7 miscarriages later... I got pregnant with Annie. During that time I grew very close to the Lord and truly searched for His will in our lives. Greg and I were so close and with each miscarriage, our hearts broke as we knew that God was calling us to have a third baby. Throughout each pregnancy, I was gripped with fear. What if this one doesn't take, what if I lose it too? What if something goes wrong? Each time I got pregnant, I was so happy but at the same time, I was fearful. However, the Lord showed me that in order to enjoy the wonder of having a healthy baby, I had to persevere and wait on the Lord to see what His plans were. Our last attempt we decided if we miscarried again, we would adopt. (we always had adoption on our radar, but felt that would come after we had 3 biological children) However, we had no problems and Annie we were blessed with Annie.
We then were called onto the mission field. Also not my plans... remember I wanted a big house and lots of money! I am sure God saw my list of plans and just laughed out loud. He probably still laughs out loud. I like to imagine that He brings Greg in a room with Him and God shares my current plans and they laugh together. Anyway, when I went to Mexico I had a new set of fears.
Will my kids get hurt, will one of us get kidnapped, will we get sick and be far from the hospital, will we be isolated and lonely? Well... let me tell you all of the above except getting kidnapped happened. We weren't there but a week or so and Alex needed 6 stitches in his knee, then he needed them in his chin, then his foot. Annie was another story, which many of you know. She was badly burnt when she was 4. If you want the detailed story, go to the first page of this blog, that is why it was started. For the first year we were in a village where no one spoke English, I had no friends and I did feel isolated. Then, just when you think you have things under control and God has tested you, Greg is diagnosed with brain cancer.
Alex got his first set of stitches.
Greg making Annie laugh before he put her burn cream on.
Found out he had cancer but he was ready to fight.
Right after we shaved part of Greg's head.
Celebrated with Olive Garden as soon as he got out of the hospital.
This week my mom had back surgery. She is doing well and I thank you all for your prayers. I was in the same waiting room as I was when Greg had both brain surgeries. I went to the same consult room to talk to the doctor, her room was just 4 doors down from where Greg was after both of his surgeries. I thought it would be a lot harder than it was. I found for me, I need to walk through pain in order to embrace all of the joy. The waiting room where I waited for him during his surgeries, was the same place we had precious talks together before he went in for his second surgery. The room where we were told he had cancer, was the same room where we shaved his head, and laughed, and where I cuddled with him in his bed, and where he decided he would fight as hard and long as he could. So, just like my miscarriages were so painful, they brought me Annie. And just like it is hard to think of the sad memories, if I don't think of the sad ones, I would not think of the millions of great memories that go right along with them.
I would encourage you to try and make every bad memory linked to a good one. If you get bad news, cry, and then eat ice cream. I miss so many things about Greg, but one big thing we all loved was, he always was looking for reasons to celebrate! "Got an A on a paper, let's celebrate!" "Ran a mile, let's celebrate!""Didn't get a ticket, let's celebrate!" "Tumor is still there, but didn't grow! Let's celebrate!" This could be why my butt is so big, but it shows we have celebrated well! Go out and live and celebrate life with those you love! Life is too short, to live saying, "What if?"
Make sure you hug each other, and laugh hard, and take lots of pictures and videos! Write in a journal and write your loved ones letters, because, you may not always be here to say what you want to say.
In the waiting room, before he went back for second brain surgery.
After second surgery! Celebrated it went well!
Celebrated with a trip to Indiana and got to meet lots of Colts!
Alex got a job, let's celebrate!
Mom is older, let's celebrate!
Family is here, let's celebrate!
"Nothing more we can do." Greg's response,
"Let's celebrate that I don't have to have anymore treatment."
Enjoying ice cream together!
We celebrated until the very end!
