Broken Heart

Sometimes living here will just break my heart until it truly hurts.

I have no picture to show you the reason for my broken heart because I thought if I took a picture of what broke my heart, it just might break the heart of the already broken. Make sense? In other words, I didn't want to offend this precious woman who has become a dear friend to me.

Let me explain. When we moved here I started praying about a maid. I needed to hire a maid b/c with teaching 3 children and having some kind of ministry obligation 5 nights a week, I was needing some help. Now finding a maid isn't the hard part, finding someone I trust and that I thought would be a decent helper was an entirely different story. So I prayed. I thought I found someone when I met Marielena. (She was pictured in the last post and was in jeopardy of losing her home) However; that did not work out b/c her in-laws would not allow her to work. Then I found this sweet woman named Estella. She has 2 children who are 13 and 16. Precious lady who attends one of the Bible studies we are working with. She came to my home and did an excellent job and I started to learn more about her life. Her husband is an addict. I mean in every sense of the word. Alcohol, drugs, you name it. He is in a rehab center right now and she says when he is there, she has peace in her life. ( He has been there before) When he is home all he does is work for a little bit to get money for his addictions and then he destroys what little they have. I didn't know where she lived until last night. I went to her home and saw how she lived, right before we started church. I cried through the entire service.

In the 5 1/2 years that I have lived outside of the US, I have seen a lot of poor people.  None of them have been as poor as her. Her home was a small adobe home with no door. It had a dirt floor and inside this home she had some bricks together for her stove. There were 3 beds made out of a few blankets which were piled neatly in the form of single beds in 3 different spots on the floor. No bed frame, no mats, just blankets on the dirt. There was no tv, no radio, just 2 small wooden chairs and that was it. My precious maid, who works so hard cleaning my filth, lives like that. My heart broke and it must have been visible b/c she said, my husband broke our beds when he was drunk. He tore up the floor as well. Needless to say, I am asking you to pray for a better life for my Estella. She is so sweet and has this soft voice and kind spirit. She wants to serve God and is scared once her husband gets out, she will have to stop going to church. PLEASE pray for her. Thank you.