Museums

A few months ago Jessica, Annie and I visited Washington DC. We had a very hard time deciding which museums we wanted to invest our time. There are over 70 museums in the DC area. We want to remember everything. How things were made, how wars were fought, how languages have been formed, what people have done, how they died, what they did when they were alive, what kind of clothes they wore, what caused war, what divided people, what brought people together, the list is endless. Some museums fascinate some people more than others, depending on the interest of the people. I never thought about this before, however, when you lose someone close to you, your life becomes somewhat of a living museum of their life. The reason being that you don't want anyone to forget how wonderful they were. How special and loving and kind they were.

If you have ever been in my garage, you know that it is kinda like a mini museum. There are all kinds of photos from Greg's funeral all over the walls. It is like he is welcoming us home every time we come home. We have "It is well with my soul" written in various places throughout my house. We have goats everywhere, and as I type this I am wrapped up in Greg's favorite Colts sweatshirt and drinking out of his favorite coffee mug. I tell stories about his life all the time. I have shared with many people about our marriage and how great it was. SOME 😀 people argue with me that there is no way Greg and I never fought. Which I laugh at because we really never did. We argued like brother and sister some but in the 26 years of being with him we had 4 or 5 disagreements that I can remember. 3 of those were about our wedding! So, if I tell you how great he was, it is just because I don't want anyone to forget. He was an amazing athlete, he could go a year without playing golf and go out and beat everyone he played with. He was great at tennis and always checked out the people on the courts to see if there was ever any REAL competition. 😆 His favorite car was his Chevette, it took $10 to fill it up. Favorite Christmas present was a SWAT helicopter. He loved Fleetwood Mac, Diet Mountain Dew, Seinfeld, Rhubarb pie, the color orange, Rockyroad ice cream and I could share a million more. But, these are the fun ones.  He would always say, "You're the G.O.A.T." Which is a football term that means, "You're the Greatest of all times!"

After Greg entered Heaven, my biggest fear was that I would lose my joy. I got involved in GriefShare and made some truly precious friends through that. Annie and I also started going to counseling. That has been so helpful and I would recommend it to everyone! I wanted to learn to grieve well. I wanted to use the pain I was experiencing to encourage others and grow closer to God. This year, I have had so many opportunities to share Christ through difficult situations and I have had the privilege of seeing many come to know Him as their personal Savior.  As I think back on this year and all the ups and downs we have gone through, there was never one time when I felt God wasn't right there by my side. I am very lonely at times, but never alone.

One year ago, at 1:35am I had the honor and privilege to witness the very moment that Greg met Jesus face to face. It was very evident to me that the minute he took his last breath, there was peace and his body was just a shell. I have never doubted that Greg was in Heaven with Jesus. I know many think we just die and that is it, or some may think we go somewhere else and have to be prayed into Heaven with Jesus. I know, that I know, that I know... that Greg is with Jesus and that all is well with his soul! I pray if you are reading this and you wonder how you can know for sure that when you die you will go to Heaven, that you will stop right now and think.

•  Do you truly believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins? Romans 5:8 
• Do you believe he was risen from the dead and lives in Heaven? Romans 10:9
• Do you believe?Romans 10:13
• Ask Him right now to not just be that person you think of on the cross, or that baby you think of in the manger. Ask Him to be your guide, your light, your Savior. Ask Him to forgive you of your sins. No matter what they are, trust me, He will forgive you, that is why He died on that cross. 
• Then, once you have asked Him to forgive you, repent of those sins. That means, you can't continue down the road you have been traveling down. You have to turn away from those sins and strive to live according to the Lord's plan for your life. Your life is no longer yours, it belongs to Jesus. If that sounds like you belong to Him, it's because you do! He is your Heavenly Father who will love you and protect you and guide you down every possible path there is. Even if your dad dies, or your husband and best friend die. He will not leave you, He will take care of you and love on you! Romans 5:1
• It isn't hard and you don't have to clean up your life first, He wants you to come to Him just as you are! I pray right now,  you will make that life-changing decision! Having a relationship with Jesus is everything! Once you make this decision to follow Christ with your whole heart, you will be saved and are promised enternity in Heaven when you die.  Romans 6:23 Romans 8:38-39

I am praying for you! I thank you all for walking down this journey with our family. Please continue to pray I will find the job the Lord has for me. I have included pictures that will walk you through our year.

Escape room, first thing we did for fun without Greg

Annie talking to daddy.

Sunny became a Wood

Snow fun

Valentine's Day

Ran my first 5k as a Greg's G.O.A.T.

Ran my second 5k to raise money for our missions fund.

Beach fun

Mother's Day

Annie started horseback

Jerod and Bri got engaged

Jerod graduated

Annie went to Camp Cheerio her happy place. 

Jerod and Bri went to China for the summer

Alex worked with World Changers all summer and then we went to the beach again. 

Completed Greg's dream vacation of going on a cruise. 

Reunited with old friends

Met new ones, the Tummons family! 

Spent a lot of fun time with Greg's sweet CNA, Anetria. 

Went to LU and met Catherine, Alex's girlfriend. Who, by the way, I LOVE!

Fun times with lifelong friends!

Annie turned 15!

Greg continues to encourage us and inspire us to do the Lord's work and make each day count and never ever sweat the small stuff! "In the big scheme of things, it just doesn't matter!"

Love you all!

`

Identity Theft

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.

Over the past 3 years, I have experienced some of the most life changing experiences one person can undergo. My identity has definitely changed multiple times. Let me take you on a brief field trip back in time so you can see what I am talking about.

Feb 2015 - Greg and I both felt called to adopt. We were beyond excited and couldn't wait to see what God had in store for our little family.

May 2015 - Greg graduated from Southeastern Theological Seminary with a Masters in Intercultural Studies

Aug 2015 - We were matched with our new daughter from Colombia and looked forward to our time together in the coming year.

                                Aug 2015- Jerod started at LU and we headed back to Mexico.

Oct 2015-  Greg started to show some signs that he wasn't feeling well.
Nov 2015- We were told Greg had a brain tumor.

Dec 2015- We were told the tumor was an aggressive form of brain cancer and he had surgery to remove as much as possible. (It bothered Greg that he was wearing a Panther's shirt in this picture and holding thumbs up, when he felt he should have on a Colt's shirt if he was giving a thumbs up.)

Jan 2016- We were told we couldn't return to the mission field in Mexico. Our hearts were shattered.
Jan 2016- We had to tell our adoption agency that our little Ali couldn't be ours. Our hearts were ripped in half.  (She was placed with a family in Italy).
Feb 2016 - Greg started Chemo and Radiation.

Oct 2016 - Tumor had grown back and he had another surgery.

                              Jan 2017 - Greg was hired as a part-time Missions Pastor.

                                                   Aug 2017- Alex started school at LU.

Sept 2017- Greg had a brain-bleed and his treatment was terminated.
Dec 2017- Greg entered into the arms of Jesus.
May 2018- Jerod got engaged to Bri Tummons and graduated from LU!

June 2018- I went to school to become a Certified Nurses Assistant.
Aug 2018- I became a CNA.
Aug 2018 -I hired Jessica Lyons to be Annie's teacher.
Oct 2018 - I have started to apply for jobs.

 So, I started this journey as a missionary who was adopting, then became a caregiver to my best friend. We then found out we were unable to adopt or return to our mission work. I then became the wife of the Missions Pastor and continued to be a homeschool mom to Annie. Then I became a widow. I then became a student. I am now a mom, a widow, and most importantly... a child of God. The God who has held my hand through each painful step in this journey. I now realize how much I put into those identities. Missionary, Mom,  Teacher, Wife, Pastor's wife, those are all identities that I found myself clinging to. I now realize how important it is to cling to only one important identity; the one of being a child of God. All other identities can be stripped away from you, in some form or another. However, being a child of God cannot be stripped away.  John 10:28 I give them eternal life, and they will not perish, and no one can snatch them out of my hand.

Now, if the story ended there, it may sound a little depressing. However, the story has not ended and He continues to uplift and restore my soul.  I know He has a plan for me/us and I know it is a good one! (Jer 29:11) Greg continues to encourage us in many ways. I continually say to myself, I would have rather had my almost 24 years of AMAZING, with Greg than 75 years of just good with anyone else.

We are all doing well. Jerod continues to enjoy his job as a videographer. You can see his work here: http://www.goldenhourvisuals.com/#homepage I am so proud of him! Alex has decided he would like to continue learning the skills of a videographer as well, however, he would like to do that on his own and further his studies at LU so he can become a youth pastor. Annie is enjoying school and she and Jessica are doing a lot of fun learning together! I love my kiddos!

Now about my job search! So, in the summer if you had asked what I was going to do, it was easy for me. I was going to be a CNA and work for Hospice. I felt like I could be a blessing to people the way some had been a blessing to us. However, over the past few months, the Lord has changed that direction. My heart's desire is to work with patients and caregivers as they walk the journey that I have just experienced. I want to love on the caregiver and the patient and help them navigate their way through the muddy waters of a terminal diagnosis and all that it entails.  Please pray with me that I can find a job in that capacity. To my knowledge, there are no jobs listed like this anywhere. I don't believe this position exists, yet! Yet! So, pray with me that if the Lord would have me do this job, He would make it clear to me and provide a way. I look forward to finding out what my new, temporary identity will be while clinging to my permanent title of daughter of the most high!

Thanks for praying for us as we continue on this journey. We love you, Alex, Annie, Missy, Jerod and Bri!

Refiners Fire

First, let me start by saying, I am actually doing well.  I have finished my CNA (certified nurses assistant) class and am preparing to take my board exam this Tuesday the 7th. Please pray I do well.  I will then look for employment as a CNA with Hospice. I truly feel called to work with patients and their families as they walk the journey I have recently walked. When Greg was on Hospice he was so blessed by our CNA and how much she did for us that he encouraged me to do it as well. I think it gave him a peace knowing a little of what I might do in the future. But the more I thought about it and prayed about it, I felt that it wasn't only what Greg wanted, but what the Lord wanted also. So, in December, I hope to start working in that field. (I need to wait until then for a few different reasons.)

Lately, I have been challenged quite a bit. I have been reading about the refiner's fire in the Bible. I think I have mentioned this in a previous post years ago. I find that I can learn a lot from the process of refining metal/gold.

Psalm 66:10-12
For you, O God have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried. You brought us into the net; you laid a crushing burden on our backs; you let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and through water, yet you have brought us out to a place of abundance.

1Peter 4:12
Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.

Over the past few weeks I have felt under attack by satan. There have been numerous things that the Lord has allowed to happen in my life. I could name them off, but honestly, they are no worse than most of the burdens laid on any of you. It has just seemed overwhelming because I am dealing with them by myself ( with God, but without Greg) for the first time in 24 years. I do feel as if the Lord has truly been working on my heart these past few weeks as I have been very discouraged. However, He is so good to me and I never stay discouraged for very long. I have been so blessed to have had such an amazing marriage and I can almost feel Greg's presence as I walk this journey. Greg and I were a great team and it is hard on any team when they lose a key player. Greg was our quarterback and without him, our team sometimes struggles. Grief is hard. It is tough and will sometimes knock you down and out. That is when I feel I am standing in the fire learning things and becoming more refined and truly seeking how I can be the person God wants me to be. I want more than anything to share Jesus with others. I want to use this pain in my life to help people come to know Him the way I do. My heart has been broken but the Lord has given me a new passion in my heart to share with people that are broken and hurting. I can relate to people in a way I never could before. Widow is a very ugly word. But it seems to be the word that the Lord will choose to use for His glory.  That is my prayer. 

God continues to shine on us and answer our prayers in many ways. We asked you to pray for a teacher for Annie for this upcoming year. The Lord heard your prayers and answered them! We feel such a peace about this decision and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that this is the person God has planned for this job. Our new teacher will be Jessica Lyons. Jessica is an old family friend. She grew up as an Mk as well and we worked closely with her family while serving in Mexico. After high school, Jessica attended Ouachita Baptist Universtiy for a year. She then moved to Colorado to live with her sister and help with her nieces and nephews while working at a restaurant. We couldn't be more excited to have her move to NC in September and live with us! Please pray for her as she makes her way out here. 

Thankful my kids continue to encourage me to do things that are not always easy. This was one of Greg and my favorite places to eat and it was the only place I couldn't bring myself to eat in. So, after I finished school they took me there to celebrate. It was a way to make a good memory there again. 

We missed having Jerod with us! He was busy teaching English in China. It is nice having Alex back after working for World Changers all summer. 

I am so grateful to Ron and Karen Austin for blessing us with a wonderful week at the beach! 

This was also one of Greg's favorite places to eat!

Just a fun van we wanted a picture in front of. 

Enjoying making memories. We missed having Jerod with us, but we will see him soon! 

Playing Putt-Putt, definitely a tradition. Of course, I think my

 hubby helped me win! (Not really, but it is fun to think that way.)

Such sweet moments and then.....

Moment gone, but it was another kind of really good moment! 

This is Janice. She and her husband, Randy have truly taken the verse James 1:27 and lived it out!

James 1:27 Pure religion, undefiled before God and the Father, is this: to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. 

There are many others of you who have also loved on us and you know, and I know, who you are!

The picture above was before Janice paid to get Annie's hair done. 

She wanted it short! Isn't she adorable?

Many of you have asked how Jerod is doing. He has had an amazing, hot, time in China. He is tired and ready to come home. Please pray for Bri, Josh and Jerod as they make their way back home on  Saturday night and Sunday. 

They were making fun of his drawing. 

I love this picture! They have so much fun together! 

I would like to put a plea out for these kids. If you or anyone you know are interested in hosting a teen for the upcoming school year, they still need host families. Jerod and Bri said how sad it was that there were still some 15-year-olds waiting to see if they would be able to come to America to study. The only cost would be their basic needs like food and of course housing. The agency places them with a school. Some attend public and some are sent to private schools. This is an incredible ministry opportunity, I wish I was in a place to do this, but I am not. Here is the link if you are interested. 

https://www.yfuusa.org/

Greg and I always wanted to go on a cruise together. We had planned on going on one for our 20th anniversary. Due to time restraints and money restraints 😀 we decided to wait until our 25th anniversary. After Greg received his cancer diagnosis we decided not to wait until our 25th anniversary, however, by then, the doctors didn't recommend him traveling outside of the country. So, Jerod, Alex, Annie and I will be taking a cruise this month and celebrating life. I will post pictures on my FB page. Please pray it goes well, the weather is good and NO ONE in our family has any health problems. 

Thank you all for praying for our family and for following us as we walk through some highs and lows. We love you all! Missy

This is just another way we have been encouraged. People from all over the US have sent these beautiful postcards sharing how they are praying for our family. It is a precious reminder of how the body of Christ works.