Over the past 3 years, I have experienced some of the most life changing experiences one person can undergo. My identity has definitely changed multiple times. Let me take you on a brief field trip back in time so you can see what I am talking about.
Feb 2015 - Greg and I both felt called to adopt. We were beyond excited and couldn't wait to see what God had in store for our little family.
May 2015 - Greg graduated from Southeastern Theological Seminary with a Masters in Intercultural Studies
Aug 2015 - We were matched with our new daughter from Colombia and looked forward to our time together in the coming year.
Aug 2015- Jerod started at LU and we headed back to Mexico.
Oct 2015- Greg started to show some signs that he wasn't feeling well.
Nov 2015- We were told Greg had a brain tumor.
Dec 2015- We were told the tumor was an aggressive form of brain cancer and he had surgery to remove as much as possible. (It bothered Greg that he was wearing a Panther's shirt in this picture and holding thumbs up, when he felt he should have on a Colt's shirt if he was giving a thumbs up.)
Jan 2016- We had to tell our adoption agency that our little Ali couldn't be ours. Our hearts were ripped in half. (She was placed with a family in Italy).
Feb 2016 - Greg started Chemo and Radiation.
Oct 2016 - Tumor had grown back and he had another surgery.
Jan 2017 - Greg was hired as a part-time Missions Pastor.
Aug 2017- Alex started school at LU.
Sept 2017- Greg had a brain-bleed and his treatment was terminated.
Dec 2017- Greg entered into the arms of Jesus.
May 2018- Jerod got engaged to Bri Tummons and graduated from LU!
June 2018- I went to school to become a Certified Nurses Assistant.
Aug 2018- I became a CNA.
Aug 2018 -I hired Jessica Lyons to be Annie's teacher.
Oct 2018 - I have started to apply for jobs.
So, I started this journey as a missionary who was adopting, then became a caregiver to my best friend. We then found out we were unable to adopt or return to our mission work. I then became the wife of the Missions Pastor and continued to be a homeschool mom to Annie. Then I became a widow. I then became a student. I am now a mom, a widow, and most importantly... a child of God. The God who has held my hand through each painful step in this journey. I now realize how much I put into those identities. Missionary, Mom, Teacher, Wife, Pastor's wife, those are all identities that I found myself clinging to. I now realize how important it is to cling to only one important identity; the one of being a child of God. All other identities can be stripped away from you, in some form or another. However, being a child of God cannot be stripped away. John 10:28 I give them eternal life, and they will not perish, and no one can snatch them out of my hand.
Now, if the story ended there, it may sound a little depressing. However, the story has not ended and He continues to uplift and restore my soul. I know He has a plan for me/us and I know it is a good one! (Jer 29:11) Greg continues to encourage us in many ways. I continually say to myself, I would have rather had my almost 24 years of AMAZING, with Greg than 75 years of just good with anyone else.
We are all doing well. Jerod continues to enjoy his job as a videographer. You can see his work here: http://www.goldenhourvisuals.com/#homepage I am so proud of him! Alex has decided he would like to continue learning the skills of a videographer as well, however, he would like to do that on his own and further his studies at LU so he can become a youth pastor. Annie is enjoying school and she and Jessica are doing a lot of fun learning together! I love my kiddos!
Now about my job search! So, in the summer if you had asked what I was going to do, it was easy for me. I was going to be a CNA and work for Hospice. I felt like I could be a blessing to people the way some had been a blessing to us. However, over the past few months, the Lord has changed that direction. My heart's desire is to work with patients and caregivers as they walk the journey that I have just experienced. I want to love on the caregiver and the patient and help them navigate their way through the muddy waters of a terminal diagnosis and all that it entails. Please pray with me that I can find a job in that capacity. To my knowledge, there are no jobs listed like this anywhere. I don't believe this position exists, yet! Yet! So, pray with me that if the Lord would have me do this job, He would make it clear to me and provide a way. I look forward to finding out what my new, temporary identity will be while clinging to my permanent title of daughter of the most high!
Thanks for praying for us as we continue on this journey. We love you, Alex, Annie, Missy, Jerod and Bri!
