Wednesday, July 31, 2019

waterproof or regular mascara





These two mascaras may look very similar but they are VERY different. One is regular and one is waterproof. If you put the regular one on and cry, the entire world will know it by the black streaks going down your cheeks. However, if you wear the waterproof one and cry no one will be the wiser. 
Over the past 19 months, I have worn waterproof mascara every day. I have had to do this because I never knew when the depths of grief would spill out of my eyes in the form of tears. Sometimes I was expecting to cry and didn't, other times I was not expecting it and would sob. In April of this year, I was very confused about many things. I was struggling with my identity of being a single mom,  a widow, and with my job as a patient transporter. I was tired of being lonely. Tired of going to movies alone, eating dinner alone, worshipping alone and the list goes on and on.  So, I was in a difficult place. I fell in love with the song, 'Spirit Lead Me' by Michael Ketterer.



This song spoke to my heart and said exactly how I felt. I want to do whatever the Spirit leads me to do in all circumstances. However, sometimes that is not exactly easy. 

Before Greg died, he told me he knew I could never be alone, he said it would kill me. He was right. It nearly has. I told my friends at work I need a tee-shirt that says, " People are my coffee. " Greg was an amazing planner and made sure that the kids and I knew how he felt about most everything. He made sure I knew that he wanted me to remarry when the time was right. After he died I began to pray about that. I loved Greg so much I thought it would be impossible to love again. I told the Lord I never wanted another relationship if it wouldn't be as good or better than what I  had with Greg.  I have a lot of faith in God, however, I did not believe He would bring me anyone that would hold a candle to Greg Wood. I felt if He had someone he would have to be a widower so he would understand the love I had and the loss I feel. I gave God a list, which makes me laugh now. However, I felt so strongly that God would bring me someone at just the right time that I was burdened to pray for this future husband many times. I felt there were times his wife was suffering or he was hurting from loss and I would pray for him and his family. I remember specifically praying one day as I felt this man was out there hurting and I had no way of knowing how to help him except to pray, so I kept praying for him.   Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 

Let me tell you of a God story. On April 23rd, I met a precious family at the hospital. I became friends with this family as they were there for 10 days. One of the family members happened to be a widower and we had an instant connection. I called him Uncle Tommy and we became fast friends. He told me about his wife and how God had provided for his needs during the dark times after his wife had passed. This gave me hope. Two months passed by and this family came back to the hospital. This time when I saw Uncle Tommy he asked if I would do him a favor. He wanted to know if I would meet with his nephew who was needing some encouragement. He explained that his nephew had lost his wife to breast cancer and was struggling and just needed a friend. I obviously was needing a friend as well and so I agreed. A few weeks later I met with Uncle Tommy, his wife Lynda and their nephew, Mark. We had a nice lunch and then Uncle Tommy and Lynda left and Mark and I talked for four hours. During these four hours, I told Mark I just wanted to be friends and that he shouldn't date until after a year after the passing of his wife. We decided we could go to dinner as friends two weeks later.  However, two days after this lunch, I found myself at Greg's grave crying and asking him to forgive me. I had started to have feelings for a man and felt like I was cheating on Greg. I texted Mark and asked him to pray for my heart. He assured me he would and said he felt the same way. We started to talk on the phone and to text. My problem was that I didn't want to date and neither did Mark, but God was changing our hearts right in front of us. Sometimes God knows what we need before we do.  Mark and I started to pray together and ask God to show us if this relationship was of Him. Every time we turned around the Lord was showing us his plan more clearly. At one point Mark shared a verse with me that the Lord had given him from Isaiah 42:9 Behold, the former things have come to pass, and new things I now declare; before they spring forth I tell you of them."
I loved this verse and thought it was so cool. I did feel like he had told me of this long before I met Mark. What is interesting is that right after he told me about that verse I looked it up in Greg's Bible and kept reading and read Isiah 43:18-19 I found it interesting that the verses almost say the same exact thing. However, this verse was circled in Greg's bible. 
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. 
I must say, this was one of the biggest confirmations for me. Greg had not only circled the passage but he had written out beside it, "Let loose of past." I have never felt freer than I did that day. I truly felt like Greg had given me his blessing and God had at the same time. 






So, I want you all to know that God has done amazing work in my heart over the past month. I have been so blessed by the way God has taken my heart and knit it together with the heart of Mark Evans. I didn't know it was possible and I am honestly still in awe that God would be so good to me by first blessing me with Greg and now blessing me with Mark. I feel like Greg and Jesus were up in Heaven choosing the perfect man for me as a team. Mark is a Baptist pastor of a church located about 40 minutes away from my house. He has one son, Eric, who is 18 years old and will be attending Charleston Southern in a few weeks. He lost his precious wife, Leslie to breast cancer in December 2018. It has been a blessing to both of us as we walk this journey together. We will always love Leslie and Greg and they will never be forgotten. But like the verse above says, 
He is making a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. I think it is time for me to start wearing regular mascara and begin to live the way Greg would want me to live. Not stuck in the past, but fully looking toward the future. I may have black streaks running down my face from time to time because I still cry, but these days, my joy is overshadowing my sadness and it feels amazing. 






Meet Mark Evans! 




Annie without her braces! I had to throw that one in! 




This is Eric and his sweet girlfriend, Kylie. 



This was when Annie and Jessica met Mark for the first time. 


Mark's family! This was after he introduced me to his congregation. 


Dick and Harriet Evans, Mark's mom and dad. 


Me, Mark, Eric and Annie at Dave and Busters. I am amazed at God's goodness! 
Mark and Eric will meet Jerod, Bri and Alex on Sunday! We are all excited about the future. Please pray for us as we continue to trust the Lord with this journey He has set us on. 



Sunday, February 3, 2019

Transparency

It has been a while since I have written a post, and as I think about the last three years I realize how much has happened. It is hard to believe all that has taken place since Greg had his 47th birthday. He had just been diagnosed with brain cancer and we were trying to figure out how we were going to deal with the new direction our life had taken.

Then, this was when we were celebrating his 48th birthday and 
49th was his first in heaven. 

Ever looked at a tapestry up close? They never look like anything until you see them from a distance and then you can see a clearer picture.  I feel like that is what this past year has looked like for me. I have been very confused about things at times, but have always known that the Lord has a plan for our lives and I just needed to wait and the plan would be shown to me more clearly. 



This is how I have seen things at times....



But lately, I am seeing things clearer. 




So many people encouraged us and cheered us on as we walked the cancer journey. Then we experienced the worst possible year as we had to face life alone without Greg.  What was interesting to me is how many people continually said how they were inspired by how transparent we were throughout our journey. This always bothered me a little bit b/c I never felt like I have been completely transparent. I mean, who is? Well, I have been seeing so many posts about suicide and depression and people facing things that are very dark in their lives. In light of that, I felt like it was unfair for people to think that I was handling Greg's passing without having any down times. Let me share a little about my experience. After Greg passed,  Annie and I immediately started Christian counseling. I also attended a GriefShare group, which helped considerably. However, even though those things help, they don't "fix" things. Many people wonder when we will be "better." Truth is, we may never be completely whole again.

You see pictures of us happy and for the most part, we are happy. Those aren't for show or just pictures I choose to post. A few months ago I decided I would start taking pictures of myself at times when I wasn't necessarily happy. I feel if I am going to be, "transparent" I need to post those pictures as well. I want you to see that even really happy, joyful people, have bad days and are sad and miss their loved ones so deeply it cuts to their very core. 





When Greg was on hospice I would pray and beg God not to allow me to lose my joy. That was my biggest fear. I loved serving God and living my life for Him, He brought me joy. So, it really scared me to think I would one day lose that joy. I am so thankful that I have NOT lost my joy. I actually have a bookmark that says, " Choose Joy". Which is exactly what I feel I have to do many days. 

I think unless you have lost someone extremely close to you, you can't fully understand how it feels and how hard it is to deal with grief. It has now been one year and almost 2 months. The things I am finding to be so hard is learning to live life fully as a widow. Eating at restaurants alone, going to movies alone, shopping alone, driving alone, sleeping alone, worshipping alone, I am not saying those things so that all of you will call me and say, " I will do those things with you." I am just explaining that I am learning to be alone. That is my new life and it is hard. As hard as it is, it is also really good. God continues to encourage me and guide me and bless me. I can feel Greg cheering us on and I know he would be proud of us all. So, I need you all to know that I am NOT depressed, I am simply being transparent and that means showing you that I am happy most days, but not all days and that is ok. I am seeing the tapestry in a different light now and it is encouraging.


Although we have had a tough past, our future is looking bright! Jerod and Bri are planning their wedding and we are very excited about that! They will be getting married in May. Alex has found a sweet girl named Catherine to spend time with and we are excited to get to know her better! He has also changed his major and is looking forward to studying youth ministry. Annie has enjoyed doing school with Jessica and has been doing well she is also enjoying spending time with friends. I have been blessed with a new job. I will start working as a CNA at Novant hospital in a few weeks. I am very excitedand can't wait for this new opportunity.  Thank you all for your continual support and prayers and look for many more joyful pictures to come! 

So, in good fashion, I get to wear GREY in May and every other day in 
honor of brain cancer awareness! Go Grey! 


We were joyful before the game, not so joyful after the game. 

Love these two and I am happy about their future together. 
I am so thankful that Greg was pretty sure this was 
going to happen and gave them his blessing. 

Annie and I grow closer every day. 

Sweet Max loves me unconditionally. 



Visiting Lynchburg to celebrate Greg's 50th birthday and see 
Alex play broomball. 



Before Alex's game


Alex playing broomball, which isn't played with an actual broom! 


Wish he was here to celebrate with us. 

We got tee-shirt quilts for Christmas. The kid's quilts are a mix of their 
tee-shirts and Greg's and my quilt was mainly all Greg's and a few of mine. We will treasure them forever. 

Thank you all for your support and encouragement throughout this journey we are on. 
love to you all! 


Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Museums


A few months ago Jessica, Annie and I visited Washington DC. We had a very hard time deciding which museums we wanted to invest our time. There are over 70 museums in the DC area. We want to remember everything. How things were made, how wars were fought, how languages have been formed, what people have done, how they died, what they did when they were alive, what kind of clothes they wore, what caused war, what divided people, what brought people together, the list is endless. Some museums fascinate some people more than others, depending on the interest of the people. I never thought about this before, however, when you lose someone close to you, your life becomes somewhat of a living museum of their life. The reason being that you don't want anyone to forget how wonderful they were. How special and loving and kind they were.

If you have ever been in my garage, you know that it is kinda like a mini museum. There are all kinds of photos from Greg's funeral all over the walls. It is like he is welcoming us home every time we come home. We have "It is well with my soul" written in various places throughout my house. We have goats everywhere, and as I type this I am wrapped up in Greg's favorite Colts sweatshirt and drinking out of his favorite coffee mug. I tell stories about his life all the time. I have shared with many people about our marriage and how great it was. SOME 😀 people argue with me that there is no way Greg and I never fought. Which I laugh at because we really never did. We argued like brother and sister some but in the 26 years of being with him we had 4 or 5 disagreements that I can remember. 3 of those were about our wedding! So, if I tell you how great he was, it is just because I don't want anyone to forget. He was an amazing athlete, he could go a year without playing golf and go out and beat everyone he played with. He was great at tennis and always checked out the people on the courts to see if there was ever any REAL competition. 😆 His favorite car was his Chevette, it took $10 to fill it up. Favorite Christmas present was a SWAT helicopter. He loved Fleetwood Mac, Diet Mountain Dew, Seinfeld, Rhubarb pie, the color orange, Rockyroad ice cream and I could share a million more. But, these are the fun ones.  He would always say, "You're the G.O.A.T." Which is a football term that means, "You're the Greatest of all times!"

After Greg entered Heaven, my biggest fear was that I would lose my joy. I got involved in GriefShare and made some truly precious friends through that. Annie and I also started going to counseling. That has been so helpful and I would recommend it to everyone! I wanted to learn to grieve well. I wanted to use the pain I was experiencing to encourage others and grow closer to God. This year, I have had so many opportunities to share Christ through difficult situations and I have had the privilege of seeing many come to know Him as their personal Savior.  As I think back on this year and all the ups and downs we have gone through, there was never one time when I felt God wasn't right there by my side. I am very lonely at times, but never alone.

One year ago, at 1:35am I had the honor and privilege to witness the very moment that Greg met Jesus face to face. It was very evident to me that the minute he took his last breath, there was peace and his body was just a shell. I have never doubted that Greg was in Heaven with Jesus. I know many think we just die and that is it, or some may think we go somewhere else and have to be prayed into Heaven with Jesus. I know, that I know, that I know... that Greg is with Jesus and that all is well with his soul! I pray if you are reading this and you wonder how you can know for sure that when you die you will go to Heaven, that you will stop right now and think.


  •  Do you truly believe that Jesus died on the cross for your sins? Romans 5:8 
  • Do you believe he was risen from the dead and lives in Heaven? Romans 10:9
  • Do you believe?Romans 10:13
  • Ask Him right now to not just be that person you think of on the cross, or that baby you think of in the manger. Ask Him to be your guide, your light, your Savior. Ask Him to forgive you of your sins. No matter what they are, trust me, He will forgive you, that is why He died on that cross. 
  • Then, once you have asked Him to forgive you, repent of those sins. That means, you can't continue down the road you have been traveling down. You have to turn away from those sins and strive to live according to the Lord's plan for your life. Your life is no longer yours, it belongs to Jesus. If that sounds like you belong to Him, it's because you do! He is your Heavenly Father who will love you and protect you and guide you down every possible path there is. Even if your dad dies, or your husband and best friend die. He will not leave you, He will take care of you and love on you! Romans 5:1
  • It isn't hard and you don't have to clean up your life first, He wants you to come to Him just as you are! I pray right now,  you will make that life-changing decision! Having a relationship with Jesus is everything! Once you make this decision to follow Christ with your whole heart, you will be saved and are promised enternity in Heaven when you die.  Romans 6:23 Romans 8:38-39

I am praying for you! I thank you all for walking down this journey with our family. Please continue to pray I will find the job the Lord has for me. I have included pictures that will walk you through our year.


Escape room, first thing we did for fun without Greg



Annie talking to daddy.

Sunny became a Wood

Snow fun




Valentine's Day

Ran my first 5k as a Greg's G.O.A.T.


Ran my second 5k to raise money for our missions fund.

Beach fun
Mother's Day
Annie started horseback

Jerod and Bri got engaged
Jerod graduated
Annie went to Camp Cheerio her happy place. 
Jerod and Bri went to China for the summer
Alex worked with World Changers all summer and then we went to the beach again. 

Completed Greg's dream vacation of going on a cruise. 





Reunited with old friends

Met new ones, the Tummons family! 
Spent a lot of fun time with Greg's sweet CNA, Anetria. 

Went to LU and met Catherine, Alex's girlfriend. Who, by the way, I LOVE!
Fun times with lifelong friends!
Annie turned 15!




Greg continues to encourage us and inspire us to do the Lord's work and make each day count and never ever sweat the small stuff! "In the big scheme of things, it just doesn't matter!"

Love you all!


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